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SAFETY PLANNING

1. WHAT THINGS SHOULD I CONSIDER WHEN MAKING A SAFETY PLAN?

Whatever else you may decide to do, one thing that victims of domestic violence find helpful is making a safety plan. You can make one yourself or you can call Womancare and ask for help as you think through a plan. If you decide to write out a safety plan, be sure to keep it in a place where your partner can’t find it. Safety plans can be made for a variety of different situations. They could be made for dealing with an emergency such as when a physical assault occurs, for continuing to live with a partner who has been abusive, for continuing to date a partner who has been abusive, for leaving a partner who has been abusive, or for protecting yourself after you have ended a relationship with an abusive partner.

Whether you are with your partner or have ended the relationship, whether or not you have used to court system, whether or not you have called the police, there are certain things that are helpful to consider in planning for your future safety.

  • Where can you keep important phone numbers (police, hotline, friends, etc.) for yourself and your children?
  • Is there anyone you can ask to call the police if they hear suspicious noises coming from your house or apartment?
  • If you need to get out of your house or apartment in a hurry, what door, window, or stairwell will you be able to use in order to get out safely?
  • If you need a place to stay for a while, where can you go? Can you arrange to stay with family or friends in a crisis?
  • Do you know how to contact Womancare in order to arrange for emergency shelter?
  • Where can you keep your purse, car keys, and some change to make a phone call so that you can grab them quickly?
  • Do your children know how to use the telephone to contact the police?
  • Is there a code word you can use with friends, family and/or your children to alert them to call for help?
  • Can you keep some money, some changes of clothes and important papers hidden somewhere your partner doesn’t know about, but that you can get to quickly?
  • Can you keep the “escape bag” with a neighbor or in the trunk of the car?
  • If you think you and your partner are about to have an argument, how can you get to a room where there are fewer weapons?

2. WHAT ITEMS SHOULD I TAKE WHEN I LEAVE?

  • Identification for myself
  • Children’s birth certificates
  • My birth certificate
  • Social Security cards
  • School/vaccination records
  • Money, checkbook, bank books, ATM cards
  • Credit cards
  • Medication
  • Keys-house, car, office
  • Driver’s license/car registration
  • Insurance papers
  • Public Assistance ID/Medicaid cards
  • Passports, green cards, work permits
  • Divorce or separation papers
  • Lease, rental agreement or house deed
  • Car/mortgage payment book
  • Children’s toys, security blankets, stuffed animals
  • Sentimental items, photos
  • My personalized safety plan

3. WHY SHOULD I MAKE A SAFETY PLAN?

Reduce your risk! No battered women has control over her partner’s violence, but women can and do find ways to reduce their risk of harm. This safety plan is a tool to assist you in identifying options, evaluating those options and committing to a plan to reduce your risk when confronted with the threat of harm or with actual harm.

There is no right or wrong way to develop a safety plan. Use what applies. Add to it. Change it to reflect your particular situation. Make it your own, then review it regularly and make changes as needed.

If you are unable to find a safe place to keep a written safety plan where your partner won’t find it, maybe you can ask a friend to keep a copy for you. If not, you can ask Womancare to keep your plan for you. Whether it’s safe to write down your plan or not, it’s still important to make one.

You don’t have to figure it all out on your own.

You can ask for help.

YOUR SAFETY AND EMOTIONAL HEALTH

  • If you are thinking of returning to a potentially abusive situation, discuss an alternative plan with someone you trust.
  • If you have to communicate with your partner, determine the safest way to do so.
  • Have positive thoughts about yourself and be assertive with others about your needs.
  • Read books, articles, and poems to help you feel stronger. Keep a journal.
  • Decide who you can call to receive the support you need.
  • Plan to attend a domestic violence support group to gain support from others and learn more about yourself and the relationship.

SAFETY DURING AN EXPLOSIVE INCIDENT

  • If an argument seems unavoidable, try to have it in a room or area that has access to an exit and not in a bathroom, kitchen, or anywhere near weapons.
  • Practice how to get out of your home safely. Identify which doors, windows, or stairwell would be best.
  • Have an extra set of keys and a packed bag ready; keep them in an undisclosed but accessible place in order to leave quickly.
  • Identify a neighbor you can tell about the violence and ask that they call the police if they hear a disturbance coming from your home.
  • Devise a code word to use with your children, family, friends, and neighbors when you need the police.
  • Decide and plan for where you will go if you have to lave home (even if you don’t think you will need to).
  • Use your instincts and judgment. If the situation is very dangerous, consider giving the abuser what he wants to calm him down. You have the right to protect yourself until you are out of danger.
  • Always remember: you don’t deserve to be hit or threatened.

SAFETY IN YOUR OWN HOME

  • Change the locks on your doors as soon as possible. Buy additional locks and safety devices to secure your windows.
  • Discuss a safety plan with your children for when you are not with them.
  • Inform your children’s school, day care, etc., about who has permission to pick up your children.
  • Inform neighbors and landlord that your partner no longer lives with you and that they should call the police if they see him near your home.

SAFETY WHEN PREPARING TO LEAVE

  • Open a checking and/or savings account in your own name to begin to establish or increase your independence.
  • Rent a post office box to receive mail, which may not be safe to receive at home.
  • Think of other ways in which you can increase your independence.
  • Leave money, an extra set of keys, copies of important documents, and extra clothes with someone you can trust so you can leave quickly.
  • Determine who would be able to let you stay with them or lend you some money.
  • Keep Womancare’s number close at hand and keep some change or a calling card on you at all times for emergency calls. Remember: you can call Womancare 24 hours a day.
  • Review your safety plan as often as possible in order to plan the safest way to leave your batterer.
  • Remember: risk to your physical safety can increase when leaving your batterer.

SAFETY ON THE JOB AND IN PUBLIC

  • Decide who at work you will inform of your situation. This should include office or building security (provide a picture of your batterer if possible.)
  • Arrange to have someone screen your telephone calls if possible.
  • Devise a safety plan for when you leave work. Have someone escort you to your car.
  • Use a variety of routes to go home by, if possible.
  • Know where your police station is and drive to it if necessary.

SAFETY WITH A PROTECTION ORDER

  • Keep your protection order on you at all times. (When you change your purse, it should be the first thing to go in it.)
  • Call the police if your partner breaks the order in any way.
  • Think of alternative ways to keep safe if the police do not respond right away.
  • Inform family, friends, neighbors, and teachers that you have a protection order in effect. Tell them any relevant details of the order (who has custody, and when and where visitation takes place.)

 


**INTERNET SAFETY TIP - PLEASE READ!**

 
If you are concerned for yourself or for someone you care about, you
can call our 24 Hour Helpline at 207.564.8165 (Piscataquis County)
or 888.564.8165 to speak with an advocate.
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