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SAFETY
PLANNING
1. WHAT THINGS SHOULD I CONSIDER WHEN MAKING A
SAFETY PLAN?
Whatever else you may decide to do, one thing that
victims of domestic violence find helpful is making a safety plan. You
can make one yourself or you can call Womancare and ask for help as you
think through a plan. If you decide to write out a safety plan, be sure
to keep it in a place where your partner cant find it. Safety plans
can be made for a variety of different situations. They could be made
for dealing with an emergency such as when a physical assault occurs,
for continuing to live with a partner who has been abusive, for continuing
to date a partner who has been abusive, for leaving a partner who has
been abusive, or for protecting yourself after you have ended a relationship
with an abusive partner.
Whether you are with your partner or have ended the
relationship, whether or not you have used to court system, whether or
not you have called the police, there are certain things that are helpful
to consider in planning for your future safety.
- Where can you keep important phone numbers (police,
hotline, friends, etc.) for yourself and your children?
- Is there anyone you can ask to call the police
if they hear suspicious noises coming from your house or apartment?
- If you need to get out of your house or apartment
in a hurry, what door, window, or stairwell will you be able to use
in order to get out safely?
- If you need a place to stay for a while, where
can you go? Can you arrange to stay with family or friends in a crisis?
- Do you know how to contact Womancare in order
to arrange for emergency shelter?
- Where can you keep your purse, car keys, and some
change to make a phone call so that you can grab them quickly?
- Do your children know how to use the telephone
to contact the police?
- Is there a code word you can use with friends,
family and/or your children to alert them to call for help?
- Can you keep some money, some changes of clothes
and important papers hidden somewhere your partner doesnt know
about, but that you can get to quickly?
- Can you keep the escape bag with a
neighbor or in the trunk of the car?
- If you think you and your partner are about to
have an argument, how can you get to a room where there are fewer weapons?
2. WHAT ITEMS SHOULD I TAKE WHEN I LEAVE?
- Identification for myself
- Childrens birth certificates
- My birth certificate
- Social Security cards
- School/vaccination records
- Money, checkbook, bank books, ATM cards
- Credit cards
- Medication
- Keys-house, car, office
- Drivers license/car registration
- Insurance papers
- Public Assistance ID/Medicaid cards
- Passports, green cards, work permits
- Divorce or separation papers
- Lease, rental agreement or house deed
- Car/mortgage payment book
- Childrens toys, security blankets, stuffed
animals
- Sentimental items, photos
- My personalized safety plan
3. WHY SHOULD I MAKE A SAFETY PLAN?
Reduce your risk! No battered women has control over
her partners violence, but women can and do find ways to reduce
their risk of harm. This safety plan is a tool to assist you in identifying
options, evaluating those options and committing to a plan to reduce your
risk when confronted with the threat of harm or with actual harm.
There is no right or wrong way to develop a safety
plan. Use what applies. Add to it. Change it to reflect your particular
situation. Make it your own, then review it regularly and make changes
as needed.
If you are unable to find a safe place to keep a
written safety plan where your partner wont find it, maybe you can
ask a friend to keep a copy for you. If not, you can ask Womancare to
keep your plan for you. Whether its safe to write down your plan
or not, its still important to make one.
You dont have to figure it all out on your
own.
You can ask for help.
YOUR
SAFETY AND EMOTIONAL HEALTH
- If you are thinking of returning to a potentially
abusive situation, discuss an alternative plan with someone you trust.
- If you have to communicate with your partner,
determine the safest way to do so.
- Have positive thoughts about yourself and be assertive
with others about your needs.
- Read books, articles, and poems to help you feel
stronger. Keep a journal.
- Decide who you can call to receive the support
you need.
- Plan to attend a domestic violence support group
to gain support from others and learn more about yourself and the relationship.
SAFETY
DURING AN EXPLOSIVE INCIDENT
- If an argument seems unavoidable, try to have
it in a room or area that has access to an exit and not in a bathroom,
kitchen, or anywhere near weapons.
- Practice how to get out of your home safely. Identify
which doors, windows, or stairwell would be best.
- Have an extra set of keys and a packed bag ready;
keep them in an undisclosed but accessible place in order to leave quickly.
- Identify a neighbor you can tell about the violence
and ask that they call the police if they hear a disturbance coming
from your home.
- Devise a code word to use with your children,
family, friends, and neighbors when you need the police.
- Decide and plan for where you will go if you have
to lave home (even if you dont think you will need to).
- Use your instincts and judgment. If the situation
is very dangerous, consider giving the abuser what he wants to calm
him down. You have the right to protect yourself until you are out of
danger.
- Always remember: you dont deserve to be
hit or threatened.
SAFETY
IN YOUR OWN HOME
- Change the locks on your doors as soon as possible.
Buy additional locks and safety devices to secure your windows.
- Discuss a safety plan with your children for when
you are not with them.
- Inform your childrens school, day care,
etc., about who has permission to pick up your children.
- Inform neighbors and landlord that your partner
no longer lives with you and that they should call the police if they
see him near your home.
SAFETY
WHEN PREPARING TO LEAVE
- Open a checking and/or savings account in your
own name to begin to establish or increase your independence.
- Rent a post office box to receive mail, which
may not be safe to receive at home.
- Think of other ways in which you can increase
your independence.
- Leave money, an extra set of keys, copies of important
documents, and extra clothes with someone you can trust so you can leave
quickly.
- Determine who would be able to let you stay with
them or lend you some money.
- Keep Womancares number close at hand and
keep some change or a calling card on you at all times for emergency
calls. Remember: you can call Womancare 24 hours a day.
- Review your safety plan as often as possible in
order to plan the safest way to leave your batterer.
- Remember: risk to your physical safety can increase
when leaving your batterer.
SAFETY
ON THE JOB AND IN PUBLIC
- Decide who at work you will inform of your situation.
This should include office or building security (provide a picture of
your batterer if possible.)
- Arrange to have someone screen your telephone
calls if possible.
- Devise a safety plan for when you leave work.
Have someone escort you to your car.
- Use a variety of routes to go home by, if possible.
- Know where your police station is and drive to
it if necessary.
SAFETY
WITH A PROTECTION ORDER
- Keep your protection order on you at all times.
(When you change your purse, it should be the first thing to go in it.)
- Call the police if your partner breaks the order
in any way.
- Think of alternative ways to keep safe if the
police do not respond right away.
- Inform family, friends, neighbors, and teachers
that you have a protection order in effect. Tell them any relevant details
of the order (who has custody, and when and where visitation takes place.)
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