Womancare - a community based organization working to end domestic violence

HOW YOU CAN HELP

EDUCATE YOURSELF

If someone you know is being abused, there are ways you can help.

Help your friend recognize the abuser. Ask questions and talk about what is happening. Help your friend to see that what is happening is not okay and to see the signs of abuse. Tell her that the violence will probably get worse.
Support your friend’s strength. Recognize the things your friend does to take care of herself. Encourage your friend’s strength and courage. Encourage your friend to do things with you, and with other friends, to have some enjoyment apart from the relationship.
Help your friend with safety plans. Help your friend focus on being safe. Help her use what she knows about particular resources and about the abuser’s patterns to figure out ways to be safe when the abuser is explosive or violent. Let your friend know if they can stay with you if and when they are ready to leave. Remember that when a victim of domestic violence leaves the violent partner, the partner’s violence usually escalates as they feel their control slipping. Your friend knows their situation best and is making decisions to best keep themselves and their children safe.
Listen. Even if your friend breaks up with their partner and goes back, listen. Support her strength. Eventually your friend will leave, especially with the support of friends.
Be nonjudgmental. Try to see that your friend is confused because she is frightened by the violence, but wants the love or security from being with her partner. If your friend wants to stay in the relationship, or goes back and forth about it, try not to tell her that she is wrong. Say that you are worried about her safety and the safety of her children. Let her know that the violence is likely to get worse, not better, over time. Help your friend recognize the abusers excuses for being violent. These excuses usually blame the victim, and not the abuser, for the violence that is not the victim’s fault.
If your friend breaks up with the abuser, keep up the support. It takes awhile to get over any relationship, including ones that are violent. Keep in close contact through the time when your friend feels lonely, scared, or bad about her self. Your friend may feel like getting back together with her former partner. She may miss that person, or may not feel strong enough to resist the pressure to get back together. Let her know you are scared for her safety, but you respect her choices.
If you become frightened or frustrated, get support from people you trust. Educate yourself about domestic violence. You can’t rescue your friend. You can’t neglect your own life to take care of her. But with support for yourself, you can calmly hang in there and support your friend as she goes though the ups and downs of dealing with violence in her life.
Don’t do it alone. Please call Womancare’s anonymous Helpline at (207) 564-8165. You don’t have to reveal any names. You are not reporting the violence. You are simply getting support. Caring about someone in a violent relationship can be very stressful, painful, and frustrating. You don’t have to go through it alone. We are here to support you and your friend. We can help you brainstorm ideas if you are stuck or feel hopeless. We can help you make a safety plan. We can assist with getting a protection order or in finding a safe place to stay. We are here to listen and offer you support.

SPEAK OUT

Speak out against domestic violence and abuse.
Get involved. Show your support through volunteering, wearing a purple ribbon, or making donations.
Be a friend. Help a friend in an abusive situation by being a good listener. Tell her it’s not her fault and refer her to Womancare.
Invite Womancare to speak to your school, church, community group or business.
Tell others about our services.
Display information about domestic violence in your workplace, church, library, or other community meeting places.
Be an Example. Make a commitment to the cause and let others know of your beliefs. Talk to your friends and neighbors when they belittle women or make a joke about violence.
Challenge the media. Write to music producers, movie companies, Internet businesses, video game producers, and TV stations to speak out about violence against women.
Examine your own life. Look at your behaviors and determine whether or not you are living a violence-free life.
Seek support for yourself if you become frightened or frustrated by someone else’s situation.
Intervene by calling the police immediately if you know a domestic violence incident is occurring to someone- a family member, neighbor, or any other person.

JOIN THE WOMANCARE STEERING COMMITTEE

Womancare is a nonprofit organization. It is governed by a steering committee comprised of community volunteers. The steering committee is responsible for insuring that the project’s activities are consistent with it’s mission and the project is financially sound. The steering committee needs members with varying skills and experiences including individuals who are survivors of domestic violence. The committee meets on the last Thursday of each month. If you would like to know more about serving on the Womancare steering committee, please call us at (207) 564-8165.

VOLUNTEER AT WOMANCARE

We offer a 36-hour volunteer training program that prepares you to answer the Helpline, provide information and referrals, offer emotional support, and work with children. This training, consisting of 12 three-hour sessions, is offered three times each year. Qualifications include a pleasant phone voice and the ability to provide reception duties and document calls accurately. This is a wonderful opportunity to give something back to the community, share life experiences, build your resume for future employment and to be a part of a community that truly needs you.

For more information call Womancare at (207) 564-8165

**INTERNET SAFETY TIP - PLEASE READ!**

If you are concerned for yourself or for someone you care about, you
can call our 24 Hour Helpline at 207.564.8165 (Piscataquis County)
or1.888.564.8165 to speak with an advocate. |Home

CONTRIBUTE:

Contribute money or food items to Womancare. To make financial contributions to us, call the office at (207) 564-8165. Our transitional housing units are always in need of many specific food, household, office items ands services to the families who stay with us. We ask that donations be in new or good condition.

The following is a list of especially needed items:

Diapers
Gas Cards
Gift Certificates to local stores
Caller ID boxes
Phone Cards
School Supplies
Answering Machines
Storage space for donated furniture
Curtains
Household cleaning supplies
Backpacks
Notebooks
Sheets/blankets/pillows/towels
Beds/kitchen tables/chairs
Other furniture